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Dirk Autoresponder
It seems you have asked about Dirk Strider's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate Dirk Strider's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 9X% indistinguishable from Dirk Strider's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now.